The Importance of Being Ted

If your name happens to be Ted Kennedy, Naomi Wolf or Cat Stevens, you are on the list of criminals and terrorists dedicated to destroy the American Way of Life.

If you call yourself John Williams, Richard Anderson or any one of 100’s of common American names, you may be detained at the airport and flown to a dungeon in darkest Egypt. Under torture you will confess. Most people do.

In this case, the words ‘suspect’ and ‘accused’ do not apply. Detainees are guilty until proven innocent. The niceties of habeas corpus and due process are ancient history.

If you don’t co-operate, the authorities will rape your spouse and sodomize your kids.

Joe McCarthy used to walk the corridors of power with a pocket full of blank pages. They listed alternatively 113 traitors in the State Department or 67 Communists in the Screen Writers Guild.

Not to be outdone, J Edgar Hoover amassed a list of 12,000 Communists who prepared to overthrow the government.

Thanks to computers, Homeland Security has upped the ante. Their list of criminals and terrorists will top one million by July, 2008. They run monthly local raids to catch these dangerous outlaws 12,000 to 20,000 at a clip. Mostly, they are runaway dads and scofflaws. They have failed to catch a single terrorist.